I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She bit a glass in half.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize