sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
