It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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