I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
