this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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