Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
