are you so shy because you have an std?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
