If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
two words...techno handjob
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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