Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
