You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
