Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
