Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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