he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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