the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
