Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
