Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
