Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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