I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
