is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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