I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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