The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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