Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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