Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.

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(602): View more from Arizona

but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.

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(510): View more from California

i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious

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(801): View more from Utah

I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.

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