sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
