This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
