only you would photoshop your dick
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
