Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
