I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
