Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
