I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
