Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
