Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
