You were right. It hurts to walk today.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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