he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
