I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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