I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
ttyl tear gas
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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