i just google imaged poop.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
