I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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