oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
