Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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