What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
