Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
