I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
