Will you blow on my dice?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize