; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
there's paper in my vomit.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
