um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
