He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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