so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
