no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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