Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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