does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
