Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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