hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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