She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can you bring me the toilet please
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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