You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
