That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
