sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
